a personal blog for me. a raven. i have bad music taste, and even worse fashion sense. into science, selkie bullshit, HATs and SHATs RPS, whatever show or movie im currently homoeroticizing, whatever book im currently avoiding re-reading, and whatever nonsense DIY im half assing. i also have a bad habit of posting general opinionated wank on niche subjects only i care about.
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Not to be personal, but when you first started microdosing T, did you have trouble measuring it out? The syringes I have hold three cc, and I'm prescribed 0.15 cc per week... which doesn't even register on the graduations on the syringe. I know what that dose looks like because it's the amount of antibiotic you'd give a large African hedgehog, but in practice it's really hard to tell if there's even anything in the syringe when I take the needle out of the bottle. Between that and the capacity of the needle to retain some of the dose, I feel like I'm sticking myself to no purpose. I don't want to mess up my voice, but I do want to see more results than I'm getting (two extra hairs since March, one of which I plucked two months ago and hasn't come back).
No, not really. :/ But I started out with a lower concentration, which made it easier?
@moiracolleenodell Iwas also perscribed a dose between graduation marks on a 3cc syringe. It might help you to use a 1cc syringe! I made my doctor switch me to those.
The 1cc syringes should help with visuals and accuracy!
Here’s what mine look like with 0.15cc drawn up :)
ALT
I also have my doc perscribe me enough bottles so that my dosing wouldn’t be short because of the solution loss in the syringe when switching from the draw needle to the inject needle (or just left over after). They do math that 0.25cc x 4 doses a month= 1cc per month which doesnt work out that way in reality. And need a reminder.
Don’t be afraid to bring these things up to your doc. I hope this is helpful and not an overstep.
I think we need some kind of major resurgence in popularity of early John Waters films. This is the best possible antidote to the movement towards a sterilized circumscription of queerness. Get out there and watch something ugly, fucked up, and sincere.
I think the early John Waters stuff is particularly valuable because it’s queer media that immediately throws everything in the viewer’s face. It’s not made very well and the budget is bad and the acting is stiff and there’s definitely some kind of exploitation going on and the content is deliberately trying as openly and obviously as possible to be offensive. They are gross out, shock value movies.
And probably a lot people won’t like them for all of the above reasons and more. They’re not flattering at all as queer movies either by association or for their content. In places they’re actually quite boring as well. You would wonder, why should we celebrate and appreciate these movies, but all of those elements are the reason why.
Because they’re not easy to watch, because the people in them aren’t pretty or skinny, even by the most grotesque standards of camp. It’s not real life exactly, but it’s parts of the reality of being queer that very little modern media is willing to touch upon or even show. Which, when large amounts of queer media focuses on being palatable or beautiful or easy to consume, it’s hard to feel connected to a community which is more complicated than all that.
So, early John Waters. You probably won’t like it, but you should still love it.
Another Lord of the Rings Hot Take: the reason Frodo starts starving himself isn’t *just* because of the horrific emotional toll of the journey. It’s also because the only food Frodo and Sam have is Lembas bread, which the Ring takes away your ability to eat.
When Frodo tries to share the Lembas bread with Gollum, Gollum is physically unable to eat it. He wants to eat it, but Can’t. Because it’s elvish bread, it burns Gollum’s throat and “chokes” him.
I mentioned in a previous post that Frodo isn’t just afraid of becoming like Gollum– he’s afraid of becoming like Gollum because he knows that Sam despises Gollum, and he’s paranoid that he’s becoming someone who Sam can no longer love.
When Gollum says that he can’t eat Lembas bread, Sam coldly responds that he’ll have to “starve then, and good riddance.”
And then Sam repeatedly worries that Frodo isn’t eating enough, that he worries Frodo is starving himself. (”You haven’t eating anything all day, and you’re not sleeping neither– don’t think I haven’t noticed!” “I’ve seen you– you’re not eating, you barely sleep.”)
I feel like the reason Frodo is eating less isn’t the horrible emotional strain of the journey– it’s also because he’s physically losing the ability to eat. As the Ring takes over his mind eating elvish food is starting to become painful for him, the way it’s painful for Gollum. Frodo saying ”I can’t recall the taste of food, nor the sound of water, nor the touch of grass” on Mount Doom is a direct callback to Gollum saying that “we forgot the taste of bread, the sound of trees, the softness of the wind” in the beginning of the film.
One thing I think is really compelling about the Ring is that….there is no clear line between “the emotional toll the journey takes on the characters” and “the actual physical damage the Ring does to their minds.” There’s no clear separation between the times when Frodo is not eating because he’s traumatized and afraid, and the times when Frodo is not eating because the Ring is warping his mind and making it harder for him to eat. It’s like the Ring is parasitic, feeding off the guilt and trauma it creates in people.
Frodo tries to hide how little he’s eating because he doesn’t want Sam to worry about his emotional state…… but also because he doesn’t want Sam to realize that he’s gradually becoming corrupted like Gollum, that he’s gradually becoming the kind of person he’s afraid that Sam can no longer empathize with.
Fantastic post. I think part of why Sam is so vicious to Gollum is because he is afraid that Frodo will become like him and refuses to contemplate the possibility, but I hadn’t considered the parallel idea that Frodo is afraid that Sam won’t love him if he becomes like Gollum.
No, no. I can have one more shot, I swear. I won’t start behaving like a flamboyantly gay pansy stock character in a pre-code film again. I swear. You can trust me. Darling, you must trust me.
ALT
